it's too hot outside to masturbate.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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