Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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