Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
