R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I want to walk on stilts...naked
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
