no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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