you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
