he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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