I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
