The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
