Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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