listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
