I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
