dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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