I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
