The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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