i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
