I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
