I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
vagina is talking i cant
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
