I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She even gives head with a lisp.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
