she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
