It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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