420 ftw
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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