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i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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