so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
