trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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