I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
