Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
