Non-Jews are for practice
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
