I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
