can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
