I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
