Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
