I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
