But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
