His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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