so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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