I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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