they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
