i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I have tasted many bathrooms
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
