I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Someone signed my nipple.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
