I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
