ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
And then he peed in my hair
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