Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
