i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
