Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
