I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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