That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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