oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
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