I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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