I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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