I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
