I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
