I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
