The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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