if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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