She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
